It has come to our attention that a few copies of the "Alabama" edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the "Alabama" editions, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of General Lee super-imposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Instead of an error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape. Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Also note some of the standard desktop icons have been renamed:

• Recycle Bin --------------------- "Outhouse"
• My Computer ------------------- "This Infernal Contraption"
• Dialup Networking ------------ "Good Ol' Boys"
• Control Panel ------------------- "Dern Dashboard"
• 'Hard Drive -----------------------"4 wheel drive'
• Floppies discs ------------------"them little ole plastic disc thangs"

Standard Winders Messages:

• OK = ats aww-right
• cancel = hail no
• reset = awa shoot
• yes = shore
• no = naaaa
• find = hunt-fer it
• go to = over yonder
• back = back yonder
• help = hep me out here
• stop = ternit off
• start = crank it up
• settings = sittins
• programs = stuff at does stuff
• documents = stuff I done done

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:

• tiperiter.......................a word processor
• colering book............a graphics program
• addin mershene.......calculator
• outhouse paper .......notepad
• jupe-box ..................CD Player
• iner-net.....................Microsoft Explorer
• pichers......................A graphics viewer